I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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