OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
