all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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