The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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