He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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