How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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