I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
