my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
