she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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