no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
