So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
