no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I want her autograph on my taint
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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