Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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