She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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