when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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