No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
