I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
