"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
