One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
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