Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
