Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
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