AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
