party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
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