Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
