it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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