Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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