She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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