we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
