craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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