my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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