I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize