I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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