What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
