It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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