First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
