you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
