So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
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