When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
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He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
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it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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