I can text with my tongue
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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