How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize