i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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