two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
