I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.