Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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