mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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