i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
