Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
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Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
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He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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