i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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