I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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