Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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