and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
