We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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