I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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