the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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