I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
