You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
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Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
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I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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